Gratitude For My Grandmother
Between 2014 when I started university and now, my grandmother—who my family affectionately calls Mamine—sent hundreds of cards and letters to me in the mail. Even as I’ve moved at least a half dozen times, Mamine’s notes always found their way to my mailbox.
To say I’m fortunate and privileged is an understatement. I won the lottery with an incredible and supportive family, with Mamine playing a central role in the person I’ve become.
Those who know Mamine often say she is one of the kindest people they’ve met. She is generous and selfless in her actions. Her care for others is second to none. I feel especially lucky to have learned so much from her in my life. She is truly a guiding example for our family.
So, why have I chosen to write about Mamine?
First, she rarely receives recognition and praise, so a post like this feels long overdue. Anytime we pay her a compliment, she quickly turns it back to us. It’s just her nature. Second, in celebration of Grandparents Day, it felt like an appropriate time to remind us to reflect on our personal experiences with our grandparents and other lifelong mentors.
Perhaps this is my ode to Mamine—a spotlight on an empowering and incredible woman who works hard every day to ensure the people in her life know they matter.
Meet Mamine, Friend to Everyone
Mamine is one of those people that it seems you will only meet once in a lifetime. She has a way of putting things in perspective and finding ways to make others feel special.
We could be in line at the grocery store and she will offer a compliment to another customer, just because. She orders bouquets of flowers to brighten up a friend’s day when they need it. Even before she fully retired, Mamine donated much of her time to community causes and activities (she is always the first to sign up and bake for a fundraiser).
Her care for others is evident in just how many people consider her a close friend. For her and my grandfather’s 25th wedding anniversary, dozens of people attended to celebrate with them, some driving from out-of-state for the surprise event.
They know she would do the same in a heartbeat.
I’ve rarely ever heard Mamine say something negative about somebody else (except for the occasional frustration she has with politicians). She has an incredible way of finding the talents and positives in everybody, even when others write them off. Her jobs working in insurance and banking—all customer-facing—allowed her to forge strong relationships with so many people that it’s hard to visit anywhere without someone approaching her to say hello.
I remember visiting Mamine one night for dinner while in grade school and her explaining to my sister and I how after purchasing a cart full of groceries for our weekend together, she decided to go back into the store and buy another cart full for the food pantry.
She never seeks recognition or thanks. She just has a big heart. On a lighter note, perhaps her selflessness was most on display a few weeks ago when she served as a designated driver for my parents and I after a night out (she later told us she was ready all night just in case we called).
Mamine is special. She’s a friend to everyone. She doesn’t judge or complain. She does what it takes to ensure she’s there for others—every time.
Meet Mamine, the Ultimate Influence
Even in my mid-twenties, Mamine continues to influence the person I am.
Growing up she encouraged me to be creative, exercise my interests, and explore what makes me happy. She joined me at Boy Scout Camp several years in a row as a chaperone of the week-long camping experience (and I can assure you she was the only grandmother volunteer there).
While re-reading many of her cards and letters, I realized just how many perspectives she has shared. She taught me an appreciation for nature and the world, reminding me to pause and breathe while recognizing just how special it is to be here. She taught me how small gestures can go a long way in expressing our appreciation and thanks to others.
Her character and system of values taught me the importance of being ethical, acting in good faith, and doing the right thing even when it may not be in our best interest.
I am confident that absent her guidance and advice throughout my life, I would not be who I am. She is a constant example of someone who maintains a great attitude and zest for living. If I can become half the person she is, I’ll have done life right.
Five Lessons From Mamine
As I wrote previously, Mamine has written and sent hundreds of cards and letters since 2014. I’ve done my best to keep them all. The stack has accumulated quite the inventory in the past eight years (I can’t imagine how much she has spent on stamps)!
Just some of the many notes Mamine has written to me in the past eight years. I’ve always admired her beautiful penmanship.
In many of Mamine’s notes, she has included small pieces of proverbial advice—reminders, considerations, and the occasional ‘tough love’ that forces me to continually grow. I’m lucky to have this guidance and wisdom.
At the recommendation of some former high school peers, I thought it would be fun to find a few lessons from Mamine’s writing and share them. So, I recently spent a couple hours re-reading what she has sent me and identifying a few that have really stuck (to be clear, getting to a top five was not easy).
A handful of lessons, as written by Mamine:
Stay close to family. Stay close to friends. They make life special.
Remember that all things are passing. All minor annoyances, sharp-edged disagreements, all momentary anxieties. They all slip away.
It’s alright to not know the answers.
Even when it’s a gray morning, the world is filled with wonderful opportunities.
Patience and self-control are underrated skills.
Perhaps one or more of these can be of value to you and serve as reminders in your own life.
I feel fortunate to have someone in my life like Mamine, and I recognize not everyone does. However, I believe that all of us have the chance to be a Mamine for others by living out her principles and values—every day, in conscious and selfless acts of kindness.